Ser vs. Estar: When to Use Each in Real Life

 Hello everyone! 

Today I’m answering one of the most asked questions by Portuguese learners — and it also happens to be the first thing I ask my own students when they begin studying with me:

“What’s the difference between ser and estar?” 

Most people will tell you this:

❌ “Ser is for permanent things, and estar is for temporary things.”

But… not quite. Let’s unpack that.

 Ser vs Estar: Why “Permanent vs Temporary” Isn’t Enough

If it were really that simple, we’d be able to say:

• “Sou morto” → “I am dead” (❌ nope)

• Or we wouldn’t be able to say: “Sou criança” → “I am a child” (❌ still nope)

So here’s a better explanation, especially if you’re learning European Portuguese:

Use ser for: 

• Identity

• Labels that define a person or thing

• Intrinsic, distinguishing qualities

• It answers the question: What is? Who is?

Example:

Olá, eu sou a Catarina e sou professora. 

(“Hi, I’m Catarina and I’m a teacher.”)

Being a teacher defines me in a lasting way. It’s not just my current state — it’s something that identifies me.

Use estar for:

• States or conditions that can change 

• Emotions or feelings

• Physical or mental situations in the moment

• Answers How is something/someone?

 Example:

Eu estou feliz porque dormi uma sesta. 

(“I’m happy because I had a nap.”)

Here, I’m referring to my current state — not a permanent personality trait.

Real-Life Comparisons:

Ela é uma adolescente. 

→ We use ser because being a teenager is a category she fits into — it’s a label, not a state.

Ai, estou velha! 

→ This doesn’t mean you’re literally aged — maybe you’re feeling tired or stiff like an old person today. That’s a state, so we use estar.

Ela é feliz. 

→ A deeper layer here: this means she’s generally a happy person (a consistent trait), so we use ser.

Language Can Shape Perception: Therapy Example

Eu sou doente vs Eu estou doente 

• Sou doente → sickness becomes part of your identity

• Estou doente → it’s a temporary condition you’re experiencing

This small shift in verb can change the mental impact of what you say — which is why this distinction is so powerful in real conversations.

 Final Thoughts

If you want to speak confidently in Portuguese, you need more than rules — you need intuition. Understanding ser and estar is about how you see the person, object, or state you’re describing.

And the good news? With practice (and examples like these), it gets easier to feel the difference — not just memorize it.

Want More Like This?

🎧 Listen to Conversas do Dia – my daily European Portuguese podcast. Short, practical episodes that help you internalize grammar like ser vs estar naturally, through stories and real conversation.